Below is timeline of the history of the world acording to Pastafarianism.
Early Life and Big Bang (5000BFSM -4567BFSM)[edit | edit source]
- 1/1/5000BFSM - The first day appears, the FSM creates large balls of flaming gas, which accidentally leak water creating seas. It was pretty weird for the stars to be immersed in the ocean, so the FSM separated them and created vast galaxies and cosmic stuff.
- 1/1/5500BFSM - The second day appears, the FSM creates adds smaller balls of flaming gas but now with more light emitting rays similar to lazers. Thats when Alfredo was created.
- 1/2/5000BFSM- The second day appears, The FSM creates filment, which he renames "Land", since filment-ho! didn't sound as good as land-ho. The FSM creates a volcano that releases beverages and decides to keep it in heaven near the stars instead of the land.
- 1/3/5000BFSM- Somewhere in the Indian Ocean, the FSM was hungover, and forgot what he had created the previous day, so he renamed the land Earth. Then he grew lush jungles of rice, grass, semolina and ferns.
- 1/4/5000BFSM- The FSM created more stars including the sun and moon.
- 1/5/5000BFSM- The Big Bang happened and a tree and mountains and midget were created.
Age of Invention (4567BFSM -25FSM)[edit | edit source]
- 4600BFSM- The invention of toilet paper
- 3000BFSM- Mosey the Egyptian short order-cook is born
- 2980BFSM- Mosey turns age 20, and leads the other short-order cooks in rebellion against Phill
- 2981BFSM- Mosey forms the first true pirates and pastafarians, and is stranded on top of a mountain, where he receives the condiments.
- 2500BFSM- Early pirates encounter Noah, who has built Noah's Ark, a folly of mud and animals. ("Ark" means container, which it was-- calling it a "ship" would have been entirely too complimentary.)
- 2501BFSM- Noah is beaten by the Pirates and cries so much, he creates a flood (Noah's Flood).
- 2506BFSM- Noah has several sons, including Ham, Omel, and Cheese.
- 2518BFSM- Ham builds a tower of rotting food (The Tower of Scrapel), which upsets everyone due to its terrible stench.
- 1950BFSM- Exploration by Egyptian Pirates to The Land of Punt.
- 75BFSM, (Pastafarian Year 1)- Mosey's life of 2925 years ends when he kidnaps Julius Caesar and is killed by Caesar's men
- 1FSM- Fanibhusan meets and marries Ishmali's mom
- 7FSM- Ishmali is born in India
- 25FSM- Construction of Hanuwumdra, by Ragu at the base of the Himalayas in India.
Age of Piracy (1100FSM-1820FSM)[edit | edit source]
- 1100FSM- The Middle Ages Begin
- 1300FSM- According Pastafarianism, Aristotle is born
- 1595FSM- Francis Drake (Pirate) catures Incan Towns in Venezuela
- 1669FSM- Henry Morgan captures Venezuela
- 1688FSM- Henry Morgan dies
- 1701FSM- William Kidd is executed
- 1716FSM- Blackbeard arrives in the New World
- 1718FSM- Blackbeard blockades Charlseton, North Carolina for medicine to help other (no hostages injured)
- 1720FSM - Anne Bonny andMary Read tried for piracy
- 1768- Indian Ninjas (who had forgotten the ways of Ishmali) murder several pirates, then ask for forgiveness
- 1776- The thirteen American colonies become independent and become the USA
- 1811- Venezuela gains independence from Spain
- 1820- Ireland, United States, India, Venezuela and Egypt form the Historical Pastafarian Nations, for historical Pastafarian events occurring in their history
Age of Moderness 1990FSM+[edit | edit source]
- 1921 - Ireland gains independence from England and with the blessing of his noodileness the FSM for the Republic of Ireland
- 1995FSM- Venezuela joins World Trade Organization
- 2005FSM- Bobby Henderson first recorded mentions and refounds Pastafarianism
- 2006FSM- The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is released, and the events of year 5000BFSM, 3000BFSM, 2980BFSM, 2500BFSM-2518BFSM are revealed
- 2005FSM- Unclycopedia creates Flying Spaghetti Monster article (which see: Uncyclopedia entry "Flying Spaghetti Monster"), which introduces the facts about Mosey, Ishmali, Hanuwumdra, and Ragu.
- 2008FSM- Pastafarianism has 200 million followers
- 2012FSM- Somali pirates currently raid the oceans and seas
Sources[edit | edit source]
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