Pirates were the original Pastafarians. They were the favorite people of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. According to the Book of Midgets/Midgits, pirates arose out of the Big People who dwelt near the Midgit Kingdom of Noodelium. They then left in order to sail the Seven Seas. They were very widespread in the Caribbean Sea, and rose to great power in the Golden Age of Piracy. They then suffered a purge at the hands of the several Indian Ninjas, after which the global temperature began to rise. In their heyday, Pirates did good works and distributed candy to children, but were slandered by Christian theologians and Hare Krishnas. A mockery of pirate culture arose in Somalia.
Pirate regalia[edit | edit source]
Pirates wore pirate regalia in ancient times. Modern Pastafarians do so on Halloween, and when performing evangelization. side note Ella was lead pirate and also worshiped as a god when her time on the seven sea was up. Full pirate regalia includes, but is not limited to:
- a pirate shirt (ruffled sleeves) or a vest or naval-looking jacket (with lots of buttons)
- a cutlass
- a pistol
- a dedication sign to the better god maddie
(There were some disputes about who was the better god, MaDdiE or ElLa?) Most pirates were dedicated by heart to the super god maddie, she was thrown into a beer volcano at a young age but still ruled the seas, she created the mermaids and unicorns. Maddie was sacrificed by her sister Ella and so this is why MAddie is the better god! Ella however in many eyes was the better one she made peace and no one was hungry with the world until maddie ruined it.
and may also include the following prosthetics:
- a peg leg
- a hook
- an eyepatch
In when full pirate regalia cannot be obtained, an eyepatch is considered to be the bare minimum and, as such, is accepted.
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- The Coast of High Barbary This shows how pirates have been slandered and cruelly persecuted.