"With inclusion in mind, we feel it is necessary to approach members of other religions in effort to show them our beliefs. It’s possible that Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, and all the other religions, except probably for Scientologists, may be willing to covert after hearing about FSMism. We welcome with open arms any members of other religions."The origins of the religion itself are lost in time, though it most likely began when Pirate captain Mosey received the eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts, as there is no indication Flying Spaghetti Monster gave any guidance to humanity prior to that. From that moment on, the number of Pastafarians grew steadily until the Golden Age of Piracy, however, just afterwards, persecution by rival religions scattered them, forcing Pastafarians into hiding. The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster states to treat other religions fairly are that they aren't wrong, just misguided.
Bobby Henderson [src]
"Your 'religion' offends my (probably Christian) beliefs."Christianity is a European religion routed in the Middle East that led several Crusades against their neighboring religion (Islam), described as a medieval Christian expedition to recover the "Holy Land" from the Muslims. Spanish Conquistadors, a group of Christians lead by Hernán Cortés, killed millions of Native Americans (mostly by disease and torture) in efforts to make them convert to Christianity. His efforts were successful, and the entire world soon had large populations of Christians. The true number of Natives that Cortés killed are unknown-- the Spanish are the ones who wrote the history and they had every reason to inflate the figures-- but the usual numbers that you read are between 125,000 and 250,000 in the formal battles.
Question published by Bobby Henderson [src]
"And you shall behead those who say that Islam is violent!"Islam is the religion that regards the Qur'an as its holy book.It is the dominant religion of parts of Asia, Africa, the principal religion of France, and the only faith that can be practiced openly in American schools and universities.
Osama bin Laden according to Uncyclopedia [[src]]
Islam seeks to convert "infidels" to its way of non-violence. The Qur'an calls for the use of the sword, and indeed avoiding imminent murder is the usual motivation for converting.Islam has accommodated itself to modernity: devotees now use box-cutters instead, which are more easily snuck onto a plane. And they take five breaks in the middle of their work day, "to pray." Detailed religious dogma explains why the resulting endemic poverty in the Muslim world is entirely the fault of infidels.
"And after that, those who have thus been tithed shall pay one-tenth of all their interest annually; and this shall be a standing law unto them forever, for my holy priesthood, saith the Lord."Either considered part of Christianity, or an offshoot, Mormonism or the Church of Mormon is a religion/cult that worships the Christian God and takes 10% of your pay. Like other mystery schools, such as Freemasonry and Christianity, it thrives by withholding information about its true purpose from its members, and convincing them that they will be told more when they reach the next level of initiation. Like most organized religions, it is, of course, all bullshit. Mormons are readily identified by their habit of riding tricycles and wearing suits with magic undergarments while trying to persuade others to give them delicious monies. They go door-to-door trying to brainwash you into becoming a moron. Mormonism still remains a popular cult today because it is the only relatively mainstream religion in which Caucasians are allowed to have more than one wife at the same time, and if you have too many wives, you can always sell one!
The Book of Mormon [[src]]
"A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well."Judaism, originating in the Hebrew Bible (also known as the Tanakh) and explored in later texts such as the Talmud, is a world religion tracing its origin to the Hebrew people of the ancient Middle-East, similar to Islam and Christianity. Judaism is the "religion, philosophy, and way of life" of the Jewish people.
Henny Youngman [[src]]
"How about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion?"Scientology is a body of beliefs and related practices created by L. Ron Hubbard (1911–1986), beginning in 1952, as a successor to his earlier self-help system, Dianetics. Hubbard characterized Scientology as a religion, and in 1953 incorporated the Church of Scientology in Camden, New Jersey. Scientology teaches that people are aliens who will destroy everyone in the world who isn't a Scientologist. Scientologists also worship an obviously fake plastic alien, named Xenu, which they believe is a real dead body of an alien that survived Area 51. They also believe that shower curtains are portholes to this "plastic alien."
Frank Zappa [[src]]